It’s early Saturday morning. For some reason I can’t sleep past 5am. I have “monkey brain” as a friend calls it. Round and round my mind replays my life’s latest worries and fears. So instead tossing in bed I get up and veg out with coffee and Netflix before my rambunctious four-year-old daughter makes her appearance for the morning. Usually I’d stream Jane the Virgin because I just can’t get enough of the Telenovela-like dramas! Also, there is too much violence and bad news out there in the world, so when looking for a TV show I tend to choose something light-hearted.
But this morning, instead of Jane the Virgin, I found myself watching and laughing out loud to #imomsohard. You’ve probably heard of them, but they’re brand new for this mom. It’s a two-mom standup comedy duo and they joke about all things “momming.” Whether you are a grandma, aunt, or mom to young kids or older kids, you will not regret watching it!
What is FORO?
In hearing some of their jokes and stories, it reminded me of this little thing that I have called FORO. Does anyone else suffer from this? Yes, instead of froyo, the yummy frozen yogurt, it’s pronounced “Foh-Row.” (And yes, FORO, not FOMO—which is of course Fear of Missing Out. That’s another story.) FORO is the Fear of Retail Outlets. It’s quite real for this mom and it’s especially amplified this time of year: the oh-so-happy Holiday shopping season. Who doesn’t love taking their baby, toddler or preschooler into a busy retail store?
Kids in Stores
Here is a key FORO example. Recently I told myself that I really needed to go grocery shopping but my mind fought back with, “What do you really need in terms of food to survive this week? You can always go at another time by yourself. Remember the last time you took you took Clara with you to the grocery store?” Oh yes, this mom remembers the constant nagging of, “Can I have that?” and “I want that!” or my favorite, “I need to go to the bathroom right now!”
Also, recently, Clara asked me while reading a book, “What does fat mean?” How am I supposed to respond to that? Will she ask me things like that in public? What if the next time we visit Target she says, “Mommy, is that person fat?” If I don’t take a preschooler to a retail outlet with me, she can’t loudly ask me delicate questions in public, right?
This is not the first time I’ve justified myself out of going to a store with her and it probably won’t be the last time. I’d like to believe that a lot of moms suffer from panic at the thought of shopping with their one, two, three, four, etc. kids trailing behind them. (If you fall into the “etc.” category, you are my hero for surviving taking all of your kiddos to a retail store at one point in your life!)
For me, it’s hard to avoid feeling embarrassed, to not raise my voice, not pee my pants because I don’t want to take my kid into the public restroom with me where she can finds all sorts of ways to make a simple task more difficult while onlookers watch in horror.
Sometimes We Gotta Be Brave
For me, FORO is quite prevalent in this season of my life as I sometimes feel like a single mom raising a four-year-old while my husband is working 80+ hours a week on building our home (which I’m grateful for!).
This morning saw a mom bundled against the single digit-cold weather carry her baby and infant seat into Target. Now that is strength. Just remember, I’m thinking of all you moms out there this holiday season as you go shopping. Know that know you are stronger than you think, but FORO might creep up on you and when it does, it’s totally normal.
