We all know the old adage, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” My question is “If your toddler poops in the closet and you are not around, does it smell?” The answer? Yes!
Once my precious son turned one the questions and comments regarding potty training started. “When are you going to start potty training?” “Isn’t he getting too big for diapers?” “I had my kid out of diapers and fully potty trained by the time she was 18 months.” “All you need is a long weekend of naked time and it will be done.”
By the time my son was 18 months I felt so much pressure to get him out of diapers that I went and bought a potty chair and started making him sit on it every time I went to the bathroom. I bought pull ups and underwear for him to try and decided that we were going to get this kid potty trained. Well, let me tell you, my kid had a different plan. He would sit on the potty but nothing ever happened, so honestly, I gave up.
Fast forward to his 2nd birthday and the pressure was mounting. Not only was I getting unwanted comments at a more steady rate, but I was also starting to feel like a failure because he wasn’t even close to being potty trained. His peers at daycare were starting to go on the potty and get rid of diapers, cousins around his age were done with diapers and he was zero percent interested. We had potty books, watched potty shows, let him play with the tablet while sitting on the potty, offered rewards, stickers, candy… nothing worked. So I gave up again, and I told myself after Christmas traveling we would hit it hard.
Christmas came and went and spring rolled around and I decided that I would try the naked method on a long weekend. My son still shows me the spot on the carpet downstairs that he peed on because he held it in for so long. We ended the naked experiment with a child who screamed and cried every time we tried to get him to sit on the potty.
At this point I was totally ready to let my kid be in diapers until he was in high school. I didn’t want to deal with the mess, the crying, the screaming, and total mental exhaustion this experience giving all of us. So again, I gave up.
Then something crazy happened. One morning in July while we were at my sister-in-law’s house, 2 months before my son’s 3rd birthday, he woke up and told me he wanted to go potty on the big potty. I jumped out of bed as fast as I could and got him into the bathroom and on the toilet and low and behold… HE PEED! I have never been so happy in my life to hear the sound of urine hitting the calm waters in the toilet! That entire weekend he peed on the toilet if he was awake. We had crossed the first hurdle, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t be the last.
Once we got home, he decided he wanted to pee only on Auntie Shell’s toilet, but I did not plan on driving to Grand Rapids every time he needed to pee, so after some good bribing we convinced him our toilet would be a suitable substitute. For about 3 weeks trying to get him to pee on a public toilet, or even at daycare, was a struggle. He just wasn’t comfortable unless he was at home. So he was in diapers whenever we left the house. Finally, after lots of stickers, candy, and toy cars, he started going to the potty at daycare and other places. We were now in underwear full-time (besides nap and bedtime).
But then the pooping problems started.
He refused to poop on the potty and he didn’t want to make a mess in his underwear so he held it in. He went 9 days without pooping before I took him in to the doctor. Her recommendation was to add Miralax daily and cut back on dairy–cheese is his most favorite food–and add prune juice to his diet. After a few days of that he still had not pooped. One morning my husband, who apparently has some crazy parenting foresight, said, “I think you should send him to daycare in a diaper today.” I did, and thank goodness because Pooppocolypse 2018 happened that day after I dropped him off. Crying and screaming was followed by 3 very full diapers, one right after the other. Daycare definitely earned their money that day!
For a few weeks after that he still wasn’t going regularly and we reverted back to pull-ups because he was now ready and willing to poop in his underwear. Eventually we got him back into underwear full time during the day. He now poops at nap time or in the middle of the night when he has a diaper on but hasn’t had a pee accident in a couple months. I am content with this set up currently because, like the peeing, I know he will figure it out in his own time.
My advice to parents starting to potty training, or even thinking about potty training: don’t listen to what everyone else is pressuring you to do. Do what works best for your child, you and your family. I learned that pushing my child only made things worse; once he decided for himself that he wanted to use the big potty he pretty much potty trained himself. Also, if anyone ever comes over to my house and my kid is nowhere to be found, please check the closets and clean up any messes you might come across.
