Recently, as I was going through my maternity photos, I was looking at myself in each of the pictures and immediately overwhelmed by the emotions I had felt when they were taken: I was scared stiff.
I already had my family in motion. Putting everything to a halt to have one more child wasn’t in my plans. I felt fear and I also had so much guilt. I felt guilty for being upset over something that I knew deep down was a miracle. I was scared that another child would hinder my marriage or deprive my other children of what they needed from me. I was scared I couldn’t be a good mom to three kids. I was scared I couldn’t do it.
If I could go back in time and talk to the mother-to-be I see in these photos, I would tell her that yes, she was meant to be a mother of three. I would tell her that this third child would bring even more light and joy to her home, and the love it will draw out of her existing children is going to blow her away. I would tell her that instead of persevering ahead as a strong mom who does everything on her own, that this little baby is going to be the thing to draw everyone together as a team.
I think back to the day these photos were taken often and I can honestly say that I don’t regret my initial emotions about my unplanned pregnancy. They were real. I won’t ever shy away from saying that this baby was unplanned, but what I know now is that she was, and always will be, wanted. I know now that sometimes it’s the bumps in the road that lead us to some of life’s biggest and most unexpected blessings.
About Jacqueline Weyrauch
Jacqueline is a Duluth native who is a proud mom and wife. Jacqueline is a writer, local preschool teacher, and devout parent who embraces the chaos of motherhood by looking for the beauty in every day, messy-life in a refreshingly approachable way. She holds a B/A in Elementary Education. In her free time you can find her enthusiastically following The Bachelor, delving into local venues in search for Duluth’s best margarita, fanatically cheering her kids on at a youth sporting event, or exploring Lake Superior’s beauty with her husband, Andy. Want to get in touch? You can follow her on Instagram.
