Online Dating… for Friends


Online Dating... for Friends | Duluth Moms Blog

All I want is to swipe right (is it right or left when you’re into someone? I’m way out of the game) and meet a new person down to share some witty banter/quips and a cocktail. I want to hear about new things, new ideas, different issues or problems. Talk. Make a friend.

Why doesn’t this exists?

In the land of “nice” it’s incredibly hard to break into long-established circles of friends. I have found that these relationships were built in high school or college–sometimes grade school!–and if you didn’t bust in then, you’re likely not getting in. I’ve lived here nearly my entire life and I, too, have a circle like this. (Actually, it’s more of a triangle because there are only three of us and I’m pretty sure one wants out but that’s not happening because what then? We’d be a line and that’s definitely not a circle!) I love my people and I’d like to have more.

I joke, but making friends at our age is hard; harder when you throw work and parenting and caregiving and life-ing into the mix. Where do you even meet people? And what is the friend-making etiquette these days? Do you invite someone directly into your lifestorm right away? Do you set up a coffee date then cancel 13 times because your kid puked or your Mom has a doctor appointment or whatever? See, I now have anxiety over hypothetical scenarios with friends I don’t yet have. This is tricky.

So, back to an app for that. It would be so helpful if I could write a short blurb about who I am and what I’m looking for in a pal (would prefer a love of sarcasm, rap, current events) and then voila; swipe away! My introverted self does much better behind the scenes/screen, at least initially. I need time to warm up before my anxiety will allow for an in-person meet up. It also usually take weeks of prep if I’m to get together with someone sans children. We could probably parlay this into a dual-focused app, really. Online friend AND child care matching anyone?

I am happy to report that online friend matching is, in fact, possible. Yes, you read that right. I’m an online friend-finding success story.

We were both part of a Mom Group on the Facebook; a play date for kids and Moms was orchestrated (by someone other than either of us; this is obvious if you know us) and, oddly, we both jumped out of our comfort zones and attended. She sat on one side of the room, I on the other, both staring off into space really just enjoying the fact that 15 other Moms were present and looking after our small people for us. I am fairly certain we didn’t speak to each other until we were packing our equally rotund boys up to leave; it was then, she had me at “my kid doesn’t stop screaming, yours?” The rest is history.

This is the story of how I met one of my greatest friends. In the four years since this chance meeting we’ve each welcomed a daughter, overshared nearly daily, continued to be socially awkward, albeit together, and thrown back a few too many whiskeys in a pub in Louisburgh, Ireland. None of this would have been possible without this crazy, mixed up thing that is the interweb.

So you see, this could work.  


  1. There is an app as described for moms to meet and make friends. It’s called Peanut. You swipe to show interest in meeting another mom in there. You have a profile where you choose your top three interests and can describe yourself with pictures added. You can message between other moms as well. You should give it a try!

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