We’re All Here All The Time: Tips From A Stay-At-Home-Mom With A Work-From-Home-Spouse


We're All Here All The Time: Tips From A Stay-At-Home-Mom With A Work-From-Home-Spouse | Duluth Moms Blog

My husband is self-employed.

What that used to mean was that he got to work in his pajamas while I dressed and scooted off to my windowless office every day. When we made the decision for me to leave my job and be a stay-at-home-mom, we didn’t anticipate how much it would change both our home dynamic and his work dynamic. 

Don’t get me wrong, he still works in his pajamas sometimes (sorry for outing you, baby!) but our days are now a bigger balancing act. When you have a full house and work to do it can be easy to step on each other’s toes, but a few small adjustments to how you go about your day can make a world of difference.

Dedicate A Work Space

As Ariana Grande once said, “Imma need space!” Having a separate work area has become invaluable to us. My husband currently has his own office but he has previously set up shop in the basement, the guest room, and even our bedroom. Anywhere that can be off-limits for eight hours a day and can fit a desk. Add a set of noise-canceling headphones and the baby and I can scream and cry to our hearts’ content without disturbing his workday. Note: screaming not recommended during phone meetings!

Schedule It Out

Stick to a schedule and set alarms if you have to! If left to his own devices my husband will work through meals, stay up late, and have an existential crisis, y’know, normal dude stuff. Sticking to predetermined start, break, and end times means he gets more work done and we get more time together as a family at the end of the day because he isn’t scrambling to finish up while I’m wrangling bedtime by myself. It’s a win-win. For us what works is a solid 8am start, a lunch at noon, and then he’s done at 5 to help with dinner. Evaluate your needs as a family and build a schedule around that.

Stay Busy

Get out! I’m serious! I know we’re currently limited on our out-of-the-home activities, but even just a walk around the block can break up your day, calm you and the little ones’ nerves, and make it less tempting to bother the worker bee. When the weather brightens up, try digging in the garden or playing in the yard. Don’t ever doubt the power of fresh air and vitamin D. When the weather is bad, try to find an activity that keeps you and the kids busy like baking or painting. Anything to shake the monotony and take up time.

Work Smarter, Not Harder

For the work-from-homer (thank you, husband, for these tips): Prepare yourself for success. Start your day clean and fully dressed; you’d be shocked at how much a shower and a fresh shirt impacts your mood. If you like to work with music on, aim for something without words. My husband listens to video game soundtracks (I cannot tell you how many hours of Animal Crossing music we’ve clocked in our house) but anything peaceful, repetitive, and instrumental is ideal. Don’t log onto social media, in fact, use a separate browser just for work that doesn’t have any passwords saved. Take breaks when you can, if even just to stretch your legs and refill your coffee.

Be Kind

Be kind to each other and have patience. Is it hard on days when the baby is being a terror and I feel resentful that he’s just one wall away, sipping his coffee and listening to music? Yes. Are there days when my husband is overwhelmed by a deadline and wishes he could snuggle a baby all day? Absolutely. But this is what’s best for the family and we have to make it work. We have to be a team in all things, whether he works downtown, down the street, or just downstairs. When things get stressful, try to keep in mind that you’re all in this together (and I hope you sang that one with me). 

Good luck and stay tough, quaran-cuties!