Motherhood . . . and Missing All the Fun

2

Motherhood . . . and Missing All the Fun | Duluth Moms Blog

The sun seared my eyes and the wind stung my cheeks pleasantly as we meandered down the hill, then carved to a stop midway as we came upon a boy, about 6 or 7, in tears and alone on the ski trail.

Thad reached him first.

“Hey, buddy. You okay?”

He sobbed something unintelligible as Thad began helping him reassemble his helmet, his gloves and skis, asking gentle questions. He—we learned his name was Miles—had lost track of his skiing group on the hill.  I assured him we’d get him to the bottom of the hill and help him reconnect with the group.

He look at me, his round cheeks still wet with tears, helmet and goggles now firmly in place and hiccuped, “I just don’t want to miss all the fun.”

The response gave me pause. He didn’t seem too bothered that he was alone on what must have appeared to him, an enormous and steep hill.  Miles cried primarily because he didn’t want to miss all the fun.

His comment stood out to me then and even now. It’s not the situation per se that sometimes paralyzes me, that causes me to sit down on the proverbial hill and cry my eyes out, but the possibility that I’m “missing all the fun.” I’m not as well-traveled as I want to be. I don’t speak another language fluently. We’ve made educational choices that significantly impact the time I have to dedicate to my business. And this is the abbreviated list! In short: I worry that I’m missing all the fun. FOMO, right? I doubt Miles literally understands the FOMO acronym, but there’s little doubt he gets it.

FOMO and Motherhood

As moms, we put innumerable things on pause: careers, relationships, travel plans, business goals, fitness. We sacrifice and we give. Heck, I’m writing this blog post as my daughter stretches, jumps, and flips in her advanced gymnastics class. We’re often depleted by the giving. Growing and feeding a child physically depletes a woman’s body. According to a dear doula friend, growing and nursing multiple children negatively impacts a woman’s tooth health. The tooth thing may be a surprise,  though the fact that growing and feeding a child impacts a woman’s health surprises no woman who’s done either! Ha!

But my children (and yours too, I’d wager) are worth every depletion. They’re precious, golden, ephemeral beauties—ours for a fleeting sliver of time.

Despite understanding the above reality, I often find myself deflecting a nagging fear that in giving so much (too much, even?) that  “I’m missing all the fun.”  To be utterly frank: motherhood has been SO much harder than I’d ever imagined. The stakes are SO high. The opportunities for failure? SO many. Add to this, the tension between what my life is and what I’d dreamed my life might look like. It can grind and wear a mama down. I don’t have any glib answers to this conundrum, so if you have any ideas, comments, platitudes— please, oh please share them in the comments!

Motherhood . . . and Missing All the Fun | Duluth Moms Blog

Not Missing a Darn Thing

Miles did find his class on the hill that bright winter day. We slowly carved down the hill and soon saw his skiing group—waving and smiling .  .  . and waiting for him. He hadn’t missed a thing.

I’d like to think that my experience  (and yours, too!) will be similar to Miles’s experience. That I’ll find my footing as a mama, find the tenuous balance between giving and taking; between saying yes and saying no; between being myself and being mom.

. . . That I’ll look back on these glorious, golden, ephemeral days and realize I didn’t miss a darn thing.

2 COMMENTS

  1. Wow!! You summed up so many feelings that I have as a SAHM future homeschooling mom, so eloquently! Love this ! P.S. I saw the word proverbial in the clickbait and thought to myself Rachael wrote this .

Comments are closed.