A Helping Hand: Be An Every Day Hero


A Helping Hand | Duluth Moms Blog

The helpers

I love to campaign heavily on social media to “share the good.” I love to share the stories of ordinary folks doing extraordinary things. I’ve always felt everyone should know about these every day type of heroes. You know…the stories about the guy who stopped mowing the lawn to enter the burning house to save a family, or the person who paid for the customer ahead in line when her card was declined with a cart full of groceries and kids. Those stories that totally melt our hearts and make us click the heart emoji. 

But sometimes I think about the times no one steps up. I think those stories need to be shared, too. I hope that by sharing both the good and the bad, we can feel the emotions a little deeper and be a little wiser. Recognize ways in which we can be a good friend, a good helper, a good neighbor. It so happens that it’s approaching the year anniversary of one of these times for me. A time where there were no helpers or acts of kindness. In a crowd of people, no one chose to stand out. No one gave a helping hand.

I needed someone

It was a beautiful fall day and I decided to embark on an area festival outing alone with the three kids in tow. We were all looking forward to a fun afternoon filled with special activities, treats, and sunshine. I had the two oldest walking by my side and the youngest in my arms. We were deep in a crowd of people walking into the park that held the festival. I had on my favorite pair of jeans and best fall boots. I can remember every detail about what I was wearing and the scenery around me. I remember the other families behind and ahead of me.  And I remember their squished faces as they grimaced when I hit the ground… hard. 

I’m still not sure if my ankle rolled into a dip in the gravel road, or if I tripped over my son’s foot, or what caused the fall of all falls, but it happened. I face-planted into the gravel road trying to protect my youngest, who had been in my arms, from hitting the ground as well.  When I realized I had hit my head fairly hard, but was overall alright, I pulled myself up to a sitting position and took a look over my hysterical child who, although obviously frightened, seemed unscathed. I sat there for several minutes while the people entering the festival parted around me. I saw the kids look back with apprehension, checking us out. I looked up to the faces in the crowd, feeling partly embarrassed, but mostly afraid. I was bloodied, dirty, and not quite sure if I could stand up. I knew I had hit my head fairly hard. My jeans were ripped open at the knee. My hands were bleeding and I could see the gash in my knee was going to be troublesome if we were to continue on into the park. I looked to see how far the gates were. Maybe there would be an attendant at the entrance who could offer a first aid kit. Maybe I should just call my husband for help. Maybe we should just turn around and go home. 

I sat there, in that sea of people for what seemed like forever. I sat there until I realized nobody cared if I was all right. Not one person, in a crowd of nearly fifty people, asked if I was ok or offered a hand to help me stand. I sat there until the hands of my own children tugged at me to get up, with some annoyance from them that the sight of the entrance was close but we weren’t moving toward it. I finally realized that I was on my own. I kept feeding myself excuses as I tried to continue on with the fun afternoon we had planned. Maybe nobody saw or maybe they were all too embarrassed for me to acknowledge it. Maybe they thought I was fine… or maybe nobody really cared.   

A Helping Hand | Duluth Moms Blog

We all need to be acknowledged

I can tell you that day was a pretty big low for me. It wasn’t the incident itself, but the loneliness I felt of being completely disregarded, uncared for and unseen. Do you ever feel like this as a mother or a spouse? As the household caretaker, the runner of all the things, and the sole information keeper? Do you ever feel ignored, unseen, and unimportant?   

Let’s be honest with the feelings of motherhood. This isn’t the only fall I’ve had that’s left me a bit roughed up and wondering if I matter. I often question what it will take to make someone notice I’m hurting and bit overwhelmed and afraid too. Maybe these thoughts run through your head not just after a big fall, but on a daily basis. Maybe you’re feeling like nobody sees you, nobody cares, nobody knows what you’re going through. I’ll be your helping hand, friend, because I have felt this way too. You are not alone. I’ll tell you my story and listen to yours. Because truly mothers are the ordinary heroes who stories need sharing most of all.  

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Kaila became a Duluthian four years ago after moving north from Minneapolis with her husband, Dan and son Haydn (5) to pursue adventure, a lifestyle change, and a new career for her spouse. The past few years have bought just that with the addition of two more to the family; Ada (3) and Ella (15 mon.). Kaila balances the demands of motherhood with working outside the home in commercial real estate. In her freetime she enjoys a good vintage furniture find, her coffee strong, and baking from scratch.


  1. I would have stopped to offer any assistance. Just because, I myself are a natural nurture. Sometime it is a bad thing, but in some cases it is just a way to let people know you care. Be a good example for your own children, the children of the person who just needs a little help, and for all the children passing by wanting to help as their parents rushed them by. It would have taken a total of maybe a minute, out of their time to STOP and genuinely show someone you care. We’ve all been in a situation like this in some way, and it feels like nobody cares. Maybe someone would be like, “are you ok?” as they continue to walk by not wanting to put a hold on their fun day. You probably looked fine to them on the outside, but what they can’t see if that feeling of pure dread and embarrassment on the inside.
    Sometimes people suck! It is unfortunate, but the truth.

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