Hello, my name is Ashley and I am a girl mom. I have three tiny ladies in my life who all call me mama. Although I only have about 5 years of experience in this realm of being a girl mom (which I realize is relatively short), I sure have learned a few things in that short amount of time.
Let me start off by telling you that I was convinced my first daughter was, in fact, a boy. We waited to find out if she was a boy or a girl until birth (which was totally worth the wait!) and I was a bit surprised when my husband announced to me that we had a daughter. For some reason I had always imagined myself being a mom to mostly boys, or at least to boys first. But that’s obviously not how things worked out. At each birth, we happily greeted our daughters when they entered the world. Now we have three girls and already I have heard my fair share of comments about it.
Pregnancy really should have prepared me for the fact that anyone (even strangers) can have interesting comments that often should be kept to themselves. Even though these comments are usually meant to be harmless, sometimes hearing them can get a little old and even frustrating. Here are a few of the most common comments I’ve heard so far.
Are you going to keep trying for a boy?
This question bothers me. Somewhere there became this expectation that the dream is having 2 kids, one boy and one girl. Maybe that is your dream (or your reality), which is great! But there are so many other possibilities for a family. And just because a family has a different number of kids (more or less) that doesn’t mean that they are doomed to a lifetime of unhappiness. We currently have three girls and we may or may not have more kids. I can tell you that if we have more kids it won’t be because we want to roll the dice to see if we can get a boy. Our family may be complete without a boy, and we are ok with that.
Imagine when they are all in puberty!
Yes, I hear you, puberty isn’t fun. Am I looking forward to the day when my girls and I will all be on our period (maybe at the same time!)? No. But guess what, boys go through puberty too. Boys have emotional and physical changes that they have to deal with too. Any parent will have to deal with this stage of development in their children. At least with girls I can relate to their changes, because I’ve been there. I remember shopping for my first bra, getting my first period, and dealing with all of the emotions.
As I’m sure is true with most, puberty wasn’t a highlight of my younger years. I had my fair share (or maybe even a double share) of awkwardness to work through. I survived. I had a sister and a mom who walked with me through that. In a weird way, I am excited for being able to walk with my daughters through the awkwardness of puberty. I recognize it won’t be all pleasant, or even free from tears, but most changes in life don’t come easily. But I get to help teach 3 young girls how to view their bodies and womanhood, and that is kind of humbling to think about.
Prepare for the drama.
My girls can already have their dramatic moments. I get it, girls tend to be emotional and expressive. But not all girls are overly dramatic. Some of the biggest dramas I have witnessed has been between siblings, full stop. It doesn’t matter if they are boys or girls, drama will happen. Each child is different though. So, don’t just assume that the drama in my house will be multiplied by each female we have here. There is so much more to being a girl than being a drama queen.
Better buy a gun!
Basically, when someone says my husband needs a shot gun they are saying he will need to protect our beautiful girls from all those dumb and dangerous boys out there. Part of the reason I dislike this phrase is because it assumes things. First of all, it assumes that all boys are bad and that we have got to keep them all away from our girls. Secondly, it assumes that our girls will have no better judgement and that they will need protection from those “evil” boys.
I don’t just see myself as JUST a girl mom. I see myself as a woman who is been blessed enough to get to raise 3 strong and beautiful women. Part of that process is teaching them discretion and trusting them to make wise choices. I want to raise my girls to be smart enough to make good friends, which includes girls and boys. There may be moments in my girl’s lives that they need someone to fight for them or even protect them, and you better believe that my husband and I will. But my hope is to raise our girls to not be helpless and dependent on our protection.
Whether you are a mom to girls, boys, or both you are first and foremost a mom. Sure, each mom faces different and unique struggles and enjoys equally unique joys. Some of mine are bound to come from the fact that I have 3 ladies to raise. But I wouldn’t trade those challenges or blessings for anything.