Are You Okay, Momma?


Recently, the internet was a-buzz about an interaction with Megan Markle and an ITV news interviewer. You’ve probably seen it, a screen shot of it, or an Instagram post or two. If you managed to not see it, the interviewer asked Megan how she was doing: “Are you okay?” 

Are You Okay, Momma? | Duluth Moms Blog

Her response is an emotional and honest one, though still polite considering her royal role. She’s not great, but she’s hanging in there. I don’t think we can really know how well, but she talks about how hard motherhood is. Across all the internet comments, I saw some hate on her about her lifestyle and the “how dare she feel like that” attitudes came out of the woodwork. 

I was sad for her. Despite the nannies and nurses, the poor momma is still recognizing it’s a HARD job to be a mother. And I’ll say that I think her role with the Royal family is probably pretty hard, too. I bet she has less control than we do about how she’s even allowed to mother.  So maybe give her grace, even with the luxuries and life she has.

What About the Rest of Us?

Think about it. Do we ask each other, “Are you okay, Momma?” As Minnesotans, yes, we have to ask at least three times to get to the real answer instead of the polite answer, but when did we really press the new mom, or the mom of teens, or the strong willed-toddler momma to make sure they were doing all right? 

Did anyone ask you specifically? Can you recall who it was? I would think it was a pivotal moment in which you felt seen. I hope that your doctor asked, but I know that’s not going to be 100% of the case by any means. I know I’m pretty sure a few people asked me–which was amazing–but even then, I don’t think I admitted I was struggling, since my pride felt like I should say “I’m fine”.  You also know the people who ask and who really don’t want the truth? I say give them the truth anyways. They did ask after all! 

When your friend has her next baby, make sure you are the friend who asks is they are doing okay, and gently waits for the truthful answer. We all need that friend at some point. If she can’t give you that deep heartfelt answer, that’s okay, too. She knows you asked, and will hopefully pocket your love. 

At the end of the day, remember, your kid DOES NOT CARE if you are a princess or not. They will still cry, be challenging, and your hormones and post partum adjustments will still happen. It’s still so hard, no matter who you are. 

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Creative, always pondering and thinking, Alyssa Holmstrom loves the beautiful landscape Duluth has to offer. Reading a book, walking her beloved dog, cooking, or spending time with her strong and loving husband of six years, Todd are favorite pastimes of Alyssa's. Alyssa loves spending time with her friends. Her friends are so very important: making them laugh and drinking lots of coffee are her favorite ways to unwind! They are a true gift and bring much joy to her life! Walking together through infertility and adoption, they are enjoying their 2.5 year old toddler, and expecting another child early 2019.