When my daughter was in high school, she talked about getting a tattoo as soon as she turned 18. She and her friends talked about it as if it were a rite of passage. I thought it was a phase that would pass. It didn’t. I sat in the tattoo parlor with her as she got her first one. It took several hours and, as I sat there, I worried about what people would think. How they would judge her.
She’s almost 25 now and has gotten sixteen more tattoos since her first. And you know what? I’ve changed my mind about tattoos. There are a lot of misconceptions about people who have even the smallest pieces of art on their body.
Body Art
There are so many talented people out there designing tattoos. I mean, have you seen some of them? The detailed design in a flower, or the deep color of a sunset. Some people view their bodies as a canvas and it’s interesting to hear the how and the why behind the tattoos they design and wear. If I had to come up with a design, my only talent would be a stick person because that is where my drawing expertise ends. But I know many people who use tattoos as a way to express their talents as an artist. Not all tattoos are gotten after a drunken night in Vegas with people you just met. (Or maybe they are! What a memory to commemorate with art, no?)
Make a Statement
Not all people who have tattoos have been to prison or jail. Tattoos don’t define a person’s career. Really, anyone can have one: pastors, doctors and engineers. Business owners, teachers and grandmas. Nearly 40% of people ages 18 to 29 have tattoos. Even though people sporting ink is commonplace in our society, there is still a stigma. I admit it… I was one of those people who made judgements. I was judging people for the body art statements they were making. But no more! I had a moment of enlightenment when I asked my daughter why she would mark her skin with flowers, birds, mermaids, and hearts. It’s like asking someone why they wear a necklace or earrings. The answer is usually because they find it beautiful, or meaningful.
No Pain, No Gain
Most people don’t get tattooed because they enjoy enduring the pain. My daughter faints at the sight of needles. Whenever she is getting a blood draw or a vaccination, she passes out cold–Doesn’t like it one bit! But a small needle with ink in its cartridge that delivers a jillion sticks and pokes that marks her body forever? She’s all in with that! The meaning behind her ink is important to her. She has no regrets about any of them and is willing to face her fears to see her tattoos come to fruition.
I’d also argue that most individuals who have tattoos don’t get them for the attention. Really, they don’t. It’s a personal expression of their life–a mini piece of art on their body to remind them of a happy time, a person they loved, or an event in their life. There is a snowbird on my daughter’s shoulder that reminds her of her grandpa. The sleeve she is starting on her arm is beautiful and is 100% her.
A Change of Heart
I don’t judge anymore and honestly, I’m ashamed that I ever did. Now, I make a point to ask people about their ink. I look at my beautiful daughter and her expression of emotion through her tattoos. My son also has 5 tattoos and they all carry special meaning to him. My niece has several and I am in awe each time I see them, because of their beauty and inspiration. And now? There are two tattoos on my own body.
My first one was done with my best friend when I was 48. We have the same design and same bible verse on our bodies that will always remind us of our friendship. There is also a small cross on the back of my neck, which matches one on my daughter’s body. It reminds me of my sister-in-law and her battle with cancer. She is gone, but my tattoo is forever and will always remind me of her smiling face. When people see it, I tell them about her. I love both of my tattoos.
So, I changed my mind. I won’t be going to hell in a hand basket, end up living with a biker named Bubba, or spending time in the clink because I have a permanent image on my body that represents the different parts of me and my journey. I’m looking forward to the next one! Perhaps I will get a paint brush to represent the business that I own and love. Or maybe the state of Minnesota or Lake Superior.
Don’t judge. I’m a mom, a wife, a friend, and business owner who is passionate. Passionate about my life and the way I represent myself. So look at me and see all of the things that are good and that you approve of. Then really get to know me and know why I chose to put ink on my body that is forever.
Great article Cheryl. My daughter has an abundance of tatoos as does my youngest son. I never approved of them and never particularly like them but after reading your blog he’s changed my mind. They have both explain the different tattoos to me and what they mean to them so I think I have some apologizing to do. Thank you for helping me open my eyes and appreciate tattoos.
It took me a little while to realize the whole “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” Even what that cover may look like on my kids! Life sure is different now than it was when you and I were growing up!
Cheryl,
I enjoyed every minute of this. I love that you stopped and listened. I love that we can continually learn from our children.
My family is a tattoo family. I have them! My husband is covered. Not that I love all his tattoos but they are his and he loves them.
Our oldest son got his first tattoo at 18 and a few since. Another two sons are like your daughter and continuing the journey towards more ink. In fact a tattoo was our Christmas gift to our twenty year old this year.
That being said, I feel very accepting but when my 13 yr of daughter said she was getting an eyebrow piercing, a lip piercing and more, I regressed. ?
Trish
Times sure are different, aren’t they? The other night, my daughter and I were talking about being accepting of people’s differences. In her almost 25 years of living, she said, “Change is hard to accept sometimes.” Pretty profound and easily stated! I guess that means that us mama’s are rising to the occasion of welcoming new things!
Cheryl Great post my daughter in law has tattoos and she knows I do not aprove so I am sending this to her she will love you when they were in Hawaii one year she got her first on the back of her neck and she tried to get Dennis her husband my son to get one and he refused but later in the day he called me and said Mom Julie wants me to get a tattoo and I was thinking since I cannot wear my wedding ring because of my work He was a Pepsi driver and could not wear it because. Of all the lifting and stocking anyway he said do you care if I get a ring tattooed on my ring finger and I said no I do not care but remember it’s permanent and that’s a good thing you are together till death do you part that’s a good thing so that’s my story and the funny part was he was my rebel and and I was so surprised that he would ask me that because he did not ever want to follow rules of mine but he is a GREAT Guy and they have been married 30 plus years thank you Cheryl for sending me your blog it was great seeing you and you are so Beautiful
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