By the time this is published, my second child will be one. He is my first infant I’ve raised, as our oldest was done with most of her baby days before she came to us.
I learned a lot in this last year. I learned how to survive and to be okay not liking all the aspects of infancy. I have a plethora of videos of his little baby coos and motions, but I love his current stage more. That personality and language immersion, but he’s also still a momma’s boy and I love it.
I learned I didn’t care for pumping. I am grateful I was able to. That I could go for a long time, but I didn’t enjoy doing it… or the clean up. And that’s okay!
I learned that the one-to-two kid jump is rocky at first, but seeing sibling love grow and watching my oldest turn into a beautiful big sister is amazing. I know there will be lots of mischief and antics in our future, but if they can be doing it as a team and not against each other, I think I’ll be happy. Ask me in 12 years.
I learned that having my friends and family help me was not just okay, but important. That asking the doctor for help with my PPA is super good, actually. Taking care of myself is not selfish. It’s how I can springboard into being a stronger mom and wife.
I learned I am so glad I held my baby so often. The first six months he spent very little time sleeping somewhere besides my in my arms. He did for bedtime, but I often held him, recognizing the gift and the preciousness of him. Did my housework and dinners take a hit? You better believe it. I’m just getting into taking care of some house stuff and clutter. I learned we have all have way too many clothes. I’m working on that!
I learned that overall, it’s all hard, but beautiful. I’m tired. I’m grateful. I love my little family and this last year has refined me in areas I didn’t even know needed it. I was stretched in emotional ways I didn’t know possible. I love so much deeper than should ever be allowed, and the depths are so hard to describe.
So maybe a typical baby’s first year isn’t just survival after all. Maybe we thrived.
Happy birthday bubs! Momma loves you forever.